Ear Trouble

I am lucky. I am very grateful as I am (in so far) a happy, healthy human being.

But now I have ear trouble.

It was only approx. two weeks ago when I was putting away the dishes and some weird pulsing sensation started every time I put a plate away, a glass down, the silverware in the tray. The pulsing finally made me stop dead in my tracks when I slammed the microwave door...I held my ear and said aloud "Ow! What the heck IS THAT!?!" My husband, standing next to me looking dumbfounded with bacon hanging out of his mouth, said "what?" He then shrugged his shoulders, looked at me like I was insane (or about to start a fight), and quickly shuffled out of the kitchen.

So, I ignored it. Or so I tried. Every time I went to put the dishes away, I would very carefully, gingerly try and place a plate on top of a plate and place the silverware ever so gently in the drawer and tepidly place a glass cup on our granite countertop. I suppose I was learning to live with the pulsing, which reacted only to high-pitched clanking noise, until it started to happen when I was on telephone. When I realized that I was plugging my ear every time I picked up the phone, I decided to call my primary care who then recommended me to an ENT.

Because I am prone to high anxiety, my husband and I would run through worse-case scenarios to try and lessen whatever bad news the ENT might deliver. We both were "okay" and "comfortable" with the fact that I may in fact be going deaf in my left ear. I was okay with that. I can deal with a little bit of deafness. After all, I have been a frequent concert goer, listening to loud music, standing up front by the stage where the speakers blast into your ears. I also am guilty of blasting my iPod on full throttle as I hammer out miles at the gym. And, I've been known to light up my entire neighborhood with sound as I drive through our residence. I, hands down, have not been a great model for preventative hearing loss. So, I had completely come to terms with a deaf diagnosis. I walked into the ENT's office, confidently accepting my possible one-ear-less future. I wasn't even nervous (and I loathe doctors...I hate insurance...I hate the health care system).

But, no. Nope. I am not deaf by any means. I actually have perfect hearing in both ears. Imagine that! And, there is no infection either. Apparently, going deaf isn't the worst thing.

Come to find out, I either have some kind of viral disease in my ear (that should go away in a month). OR...OR, I could have a tumor. A TUMOR! What!?! My husband and I didn't talk about a tumor!!!

Hmpf. Who knew.

Well. I suppose I am lucky and grateful that at 29 years of age, I haven't had any significant health problems thus far. I truly feel blessed by that and do not take my health for granted. So, come Feb. 14th, I'll find out if this was just some "cold" or whether or not I'll have my very first experience with an MRI.

I am a hardcore believer in positive thinking, and I know that the body is an amazing (and sensitive) tool. I will concentrate on the best-case scenario from here on out. I really have been a lucky girl--eh um, woman. But, if you happen to accidentally stumble on this blog and then actually stick around long enough to read this entry, I'd so appreciate any positive vibes you could send my way.

Muchos gracias mis hermanos y hermanas,

Bean